[ak-si-dee]
verb
To try to come to an opinion on a matter of no objective importance, but which those seeking an opinion deem vital.
“Hmm, I think the blackcurrant squash would better suit the bishop’s visit. Purple, you know. To be honest, Marjorie, I think that orange is frankly silly. What do you think, vicar?”
[Lords]
noun
Embarrassingly loud children’s stage-whispers, uttered during silent prayer and audible to everyone in church and some outside.
“Muuuuummm, why has that lady got a lump on her nose?
Mum? Mum?…”
[Pause]
“Muuummmmm, why did you just tell me to shut up or you’d dunk my head in the font?”
[Con-ven-tik-ul]
verb
To mix several Christian-sounding narratives together.
“So then Jesus took the thorn out of Aslan’s paw…”
[Ker-king]
verb
Walking in a furtive, crab-like manner towards another congregant in order to impart a piece of gossip. Strictly for prayer, obviously.
[frey-ter]
verb
Snatched conversation between verses in a hymn.
“What does potentate mean?”
“What the hell is unction and how does one bestow it?”
“They’re playing this too slowly!”
[uh-jist-ment]
verb
Act of adjusting one’s clothing underneath a cassock.
[ab-skons]
verb
To miss one’s duty on a church rota.
“We had to run out to the garage again for biscuits, Mary absconced.”
[pan-i-kuh
l]
verb
To attempt to work out where a tune is going in an unknown hymn or chorus resulting in a rather unpleasant ululation.
“I pannicled all the way through that new song this morning!”
cf. also tunicle
[garth]
verb
To misjudge, by a small but significant margin, the appropriateness of a slightly risque joke. Usually evidenced by a general silence and few truncated peals of raucous laughter.
[arch-breys]
verb
Of an immediately baptised infant – to screw up the face, turn purple and inhale a very large breath, prior to screaming blue murder.
New Wineskins Dictionary 