[soopuh – arr-ch]
adjective
The highest possible level of affected piety. Seen exclusively on Songs of Praise, presumably after 17 rehearsals of the same song have murdered any true enthusiasm for the content.
Category Archives: adjectives
Cantor
[kan-tuh]
Adjective
The sound of a toy car being whizzed along a pew by a child.
Mortuary
[mawr-choo-er-ee]
adjective
State of being following a reredos or badly handled misericord.
“I felt so mortuary after that reading.”
Culdee
[cull-dee]
adjective
The ambient temperature of all vestries older than 100 years.
“I’m not getting changed in there, it’s all culdee.”
antilegomena
[an-ti-leh-gom-uh-nuh]
adjective
Descriptive of the view held by certain members of the congregation that children should be seen and not heard during a church service.
“Don’t get the indulgences out, Edna is antilegomena!”
quaresimal
[kwar-ess-i-muhl]
adjective
Descriptive of the partially concealed disdain exhibited by an elderly buttress, when discussing certain changes in the church at large. Usually borne out of sixty years of cyclical experience of similar changes.
“You meet in a school do you, dear? That’s nice.”
apsidal
[ap-sid-uhl]
adjective
Descriptive of the deep despair experienced when one suddenly realises the preacher is part way through a long triforium.
floriated
[flawr-ee-ey-tid]
adjective
Descriptive of the complexion of a buttress as she has her annual sherry on Christmas Day.
frankalmoign
[fran-kuhl-moyn]
adjective
Descriptive of the wares being sold on a white elephant stall at a church fete. Examples include an old film camera (damaged), a first-generation soda-stream (no bottles), a single shoe (never used), a royal wedding mug 1981 (lightly chipped) and a “witty” tea towel (“smiling is infectious…”).
discalced
[dis-kalst]
adjective
Descriptive of the adrenaline-fuelled panic felt by adults at a Christingle service.
“Ian, stop toasting your dolly mixtures, Emma, your service sheet is on fire, David, MIND YOUR SISTER’S HAIR! Ethel, pass the bucket!”
New Wineskins Dictionary 